Up The Weights

I have clearly been listening to Taylor Swift a little too much while working out, because when I sat down to write today, this little parody of “Blank Space” came out. You’ll have to sing it to yourself, because trust me–you don’t want to hear me sing! What do you listen to when you work out?

TaylorSwift

Nice to meet you, never been
Never set foot inside a gym
Machines, treadmills, ellipticals
I don’t know where to begin
Oh my God, these heavy weights
Boy, I feel so out of place
How will I ever keep pace?

New outfit, KT tape
I belong in a fitness magazine
Gonna try to change my shape
My magazine said it will be easy
So hey, show me how
I’m dying to see how you work out
Grab a water bottle and a resistance band
I’m going to work out every day—even weekends.

I’ve been working out forever
My muscles are inflamed
I’ll let you know when it’s over
If the body’s worth the pain
Got an appointment with my trainer
He’ll tell you I’m out of shape
My cardio won’t cut it
So I’ll up the weights

‘Cause I’m tired and I’m sweaty
Pushed myself way too far
My body feels like jello
May not make it to my car
Got an appointment with my trainer
He’ll tell you I’m out of shape
But I’ve got one more rep left
And I’ll up the weights

Heart rate high, pushing through
Trying to keep it inside the zone
One rep done, three more to go
Then I can think about going home
I joined the gym, it’s what I want
I prepaid for 6 months
Desperate to see the results to come

Screaming, crying, can’t do more
I can’t even lift my phone
Gonna pass out on the floor
Can somebody drag me home
Oh my God, help me please
I think I’m drunk off my protein
But I’ll come back each time I leave
‘Cause we all know I’m a chubby girl dressed like a yogi.

I’ve been working out forever
My muscles are inflamed
I’ll let you know when it’s over
If the body’s worth the pain
Got an appointment with my trainer
He’ll tell you I’m out of shape
My cardio won’t cut it
So I’ll up the weights

‘Cause I’m tired and I’m sweaty
Pushed myself way too far
My body feels like jello
May not make it to my car
Got an appointment with my trainer
He’ll tell you I’m out of shape
But I’ve got one more rep left
And I’ll up the weights

Just want to be in shape, but it’s torture
My trainer says, well, I warned you
Just want to get in shape, but it’s torture
My trainer says, well I warned you

I’ve been working out forever
My muscles are inflamed
I’ll let you know when it’s over
If the body’s worth the pain
Got an appointment with my trainer
He’ll tell you I’m out of shape
My cardio won’t cut it
So I’ll up the weights

‘Cause I’m tired and I’m sweaty
Pushed myself way too far
My body feels like jello
May not make it to my car
Got an appointment with my trainer
He’ll tell you I’m out of shape
But I’ve got one more rep left
And I’ll up the weights.

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19 thoughts on “Up The Weights

  1. Haha I love this! My oldest is a huge Taylor Swift fan (ok no lie we all like her)! I had to keep a secret from her for 9 months when I got her tickets and told her the day of and we were both sick. Still loved it. Can’t wait to share this with my girls!! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOVE this! Sometimes I write poems in my head when I run but nothing like this. I also don’t often listen to music when I work out. Most of my workouts are runs, and I like to be aware of my surroundings. But if I’m on a long run sometimes I’ll listen to Pandora.

    Liked by 1 person

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